LONGING TO BE
“O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land”. Psalm 63:1
Have you ever had a longing in your heart that you cannot shake? You want something so badly that it seems to overshadow everything else in your life—success in business, a close, non-stressful relationship, a healthy body that is not breaking down or enough money to get out of debt. There is nothing wrong with desiring these things until they begin to invade our soul.
Whenever there is lack, our soul begins to crave. We may long to be accepted because we feel like an outsider; or maybe at times, we ache for comfort because we are experiencing so much pain in a situation. Sometimes we
crave approval, wanting someone to think we are valuable, or occasionally we desperately desire rest because everything around us is crazy. Other times we long for purpose, wanting to know we are making a difference in the world, or we just want that one person to love us. On a regular basis, our souls crave, but what you may not know is that God created our souls that way. He made our souls to crave, but the object of that desire is meant to be Him.
The problem for us is that we look to satisfy those longings with temporal things instead of with God. When we lack acceptance, we spend way too much money trying to dress just right or fit in with certain cliques. When we lack comfort, we overindulge in shopping or eating or other vices in order to feel temporarily consoled. When we lack approval, we work ourselves to death trying to prove that we are valuable, or when we lack rest, we start opting out of important responsibilities because we cannot take it anymore. When we lack purpose, we overachieve or give up in discouragement, and when we lack love, we lose ourselves striving to get someone else’s attention.
Many people today live in this tension of longing, and they work tirelessly to find something to satisfy. In the parable of the prodigal son, the youngest son found himself in this place. He was lacking and longing for something more, so he cashed in early on his inheritance and decided to scratch that itch. But we all know the story, he ended up worse than where he started, with no money, no friends and no place to go. In desperation, he persuaded a farmer to hire him and was commissioned to feed the pigs. As Jesus told this story, He mentioned a phrase that has stuck with me. Jesus said that the son was “longing to be fed” but “no one gave him anything” (Luke15:16). Part of God’s plan was for the son to arrive back at his place of longing and realize that nothing from this world could satisfy. The very next words out of Jesus’ mouth was “he came to himself” (v. 17). When the prodigal son recognized that his longing was still there and nothing was quenching his soul’s craving, he came to his senses and arose to go back to the father.
In His never-ending patience and incredible love, God refuses to allow anything else to quench that gnawing and allows us to keep coming back to that stinky pig sty until we come to our senses. Over and over again, we will find ourselves longing to be fed but finding nothing, until we arise and go back to the Father. Those moments can feel frustrating and lonely, but it is only because God refuses to leave us on the outside. He is standing at the door of the gate looking intently over the horizon, ready to run towards us, robe and ring in hand.
Personally, I have been in the pig sty—longing for acceptance, longing for approval, and longing for usefulness. I have searched for people’s approval and acceptance and pursued significance through work, but nothing was found. Like the prodigal son, I kept coming face to face with my longing but could not find anything to satisfy. Though I prayed and asked God for help, I still kept turning outwards for satisfaction. In the past few months, God has removed every superficial component and refused to allow me true fulfillment through any external avenue. And while this is painful and lonely, as pig sties tend to be, it has caused me to come to my senses and turn to Him.
If you find yourself in this place today, where you have a gnawing longing that seems to never be filled, I challenge you to read the story in Luke 15:11-32 and focus your attention on the responses of the father. Write down every adjective and action describing the father (take special note of verse 20), and then recognize those qualities in your heavenly Father. God is not withholding satisfaction from you; He is waiting to bring you pure, genuine and true fulfillment which is found only in Him. Let today be the day you come to your senses, arise and go to your Father. He is ready to run towards you.